#15. Romance ... Friendship ... Love
We think of Valentine's Day as that special time of the year dedicated to romance, friendship, and/or love. Did you awaken the heart of your beloved with a thoughtful surprise on Valentine's Day? And did you receive a pleasant surprise in return from your significant other -- or did the 14th simply pass you by? In what way does your heart become most deeply touched? A red rose or a Hallmark card simply may not do it for some. Does your dearest friend know how to tap into the depths of your heart? Or is such an awareness suppose to be known without being told? Men and women express their love and appreciation in differing ways. Is that ok with you, or must the gift of kindness be of your own choosing?
Are you a better giver than a receiver? Do you wait for another to give or are you the first to share? Is love expressed to you only on Valentine's Day or a birthday or anniversary? or throughout the entire year? Do you give the gift of love and kindness to others often, seldom, never? Do you receive from others often, seldom, never?
Are you uncomfortable or annoyed by the thought of this very subject? Do you complain because you have no beloved, no dearest friend? If so, why not share your heart with another simply because that's who you are? Can you awaken your own heart of love by loving anyway? Just what are your thoughts and feelings about Love? Romance? Friendship?
posted by Virgil at 10:09 PM
21 Comments:
Febuary 14th passed me by. Today, most people(male&female) have difficut times expressing their feelings of love to one another.
I'm very expressional of how I feel, I want to be able to shout it out to the world "I Love You" I want to tell you but I can't, you are not comfortable, it bothers you to know. So I keep it inside, and slowley my heart dies, I give up, and I love alone, gosh...that is so lonely.
I don't need a Red Rose or a Hallmark card, I need no gifts to be deeply touched, you can touch my heart just by a warm embrace, a gentle word. Just hold me for that moment, let me feel that love, (I CAN FEEL IT, JUST BY YOUR TOUCH) Just knowing you care is enough for me.
I am a giver, I love to give, it excites my heart.It gives me pleasure. It doesn't have to be extravagant, maybe a Tootsie Pop wrapped up with a bow, maybe a poem, or just a card expressing my thoughts about that individual.
I'm usually first to share my thoughts and feelings of gratitude and love for that person. It not be a Holiday. I am the type that would tell you every day how I appreciate you.
I like to think I give love and kindness to others and I receave the gifts of love & kindnes as well, it's such a warm and wonderful feeling inside.
I'm never uncomfortable about the subject of love, I just get so frustrated that at times I can't express how I truelly feel in my heart without causing that person to feel uncomfortable. God knows I've tried to share whats in my heart, thats who I am. Maybe it's fear of rejection, who knows, maybe it is me.
As fas as my thoughts and feelings about love: Love to me is a good feeling in my heart that makes me feel special and lifts me up. It's about affection, caring,happiness, joy, enjoy being together, being proud of who they are,intimacy, taking care of one another,trusting each other, being supportive, allow them their own individuality, lots of affection, accept them for who they are. Just love them unconditionally, just love `em!
Romance to me is holding hands, a walk in the park,just a phone call to say "Hi" a pat on the cheek. Oh hell...just sing to me! how Romantic can that be? Ah,Yes...JUST SING TO ME.
Hey,anonymous #1, do I know you? maybe not, can I get to know you? Are you female or male? I'm guessing your female. Wow, either you got it bad, or if that is your discription of love n romance n what you look for in a relationship, than I'd like to meet you. You are an exception! Most women are gold diggers and expect plenty, I know of no woman that would settle for a walk in the park let alone a pat on the cheek as being romantic. I only wish I had someone to tell me they love me, without expecting something in return. My name is Garrek If you are female late 50's or so can you e-mail me? (ghoffman@hotmail.com)
I had a girfriend a bought her a box of chocolates, she never even wished me a happy valentines day. She never said thank you.I'm not afraid to say how I feel, I love to share, and I love to give. I very much would enjoy being involved in a strong loving relationship with no strings attached in the begining, just being able to freely move around till we get to know one another.A date maybe once or twice a week. I need my space, I basically like hanging out in my home by myself.I can love always. At least my dog loves me, and all he wants is a pat on the head, and a treat! Maybe we can learn from our own pets!
I had such a wonderful Valetines Day, full of surprises one after the other. My friend just likes doing things for me and it doesn't have to be any holiday, and I feel the same about him. We just enjoy doing things for one another.He's a show me kind of a guy, and I'M a do-er. Whats wrong with letting one another know how you feel?All we are is good friends, our frienship has always been different that a lot of people. We love each other unconditionally, and we need one another in a lot of ways. And we both are givers, we share. we do a lot of talking of love and friendships and relationships, or just sit and talk for hours about anything. We just enjoy one another, we are so close. We all want love don't we? Well as you can read, We have it all, love, respect,joy and trust and more. I am so lucky God has brought my friend LARRY and I together.
Hi, I am from the Down River area in Allen Park Mich.
My boyfriend came over to my house with a beautiful deep red rose clinched between his teeth along with a box of chocolates in his hands. Now if thats not romantic than what is? Niether one of us has a problem expressing our love for another. We trust and enjoy being with each other. We both are givers. We never wait for holidays or give cards to let one another know how we feel about each other, heck, we can't wait tell one another to how we feel. We have dated for the last 3 years and it still feels like the first day our eyes met and our hearts were starting to melt. Love is all.
For me every day is Valentines day.My heart is awaken every day by my beloved. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't surprise me with a gift or a little note maybe left on his pillow, or taped on to the refridgerator or T.V. just to let me know he cares. Even though he doesn't have to do these things to prove his love for me,thats just the way he is. We are deeply inlove with each other and have been for the past 14 years. I need no gifts to please me, and niether does he. We both are givers, we especially enjoy giving to one another, and we also like giving to others, and we do give the gift of love all of the time.
We are never uncomfortable discussing love or showing love or feeling love...WE ARE LOVE
I had the most wonderful Valentines Day, my sweety brought me and engagement ring hiden in a red box of choc`olates, and a dozen of the most beautiful long stem red roses. I feel so blessed and so very lucky to have this most wonderful man in my life that loves me unconditionally.I love him as well. We really don't need any special holiday to tell one another that we love each other.
We both share and we appreciate and respect each other. What more can I say! I like this Blog-site, and my sweety and me also like your "give it a funnie twist" There is a lot of good jokes there. It will take us a week to read all of them! I'm copying and pasteing these jokes, they are humorous.
I'm sorry to say that Valentines day just was a passing fancy for me. I have a friend I truelly love and enjoy being around. The joy, and fun we had when we were together I will remember for the rest of my life, at least that can't be taken away from me. I'd give him the world if I could, even now.
We no-longer have a relationship of being one with each other, he dropped me just like that, with no honest explanation. I have deep regrets about that.I hurt bad inside, I ask myself to "why do I hurt my heart with regret"? I know later I will regret that my heart is pained. I really hurt deep inside my heart. The love I have is rooted so deep in my heart, I have not ever experienced this kind of love. I know this is a forever thing for me. I don't want anymore of the woe and wailing, I want to move to a new path in my life. But when I'm around him, my heart melts, I'm weak at the knees.
I'm a type of person that justs loves to share everything, and I'm a giver, I love to give and do things for others, it gives me such pleasure. And I'm very expressional, if you love and care for someone you should be able to express that feeling without fear. You feel so good inside when you are able to let out what your heart feels.
I have a dearest friend, but I want so much more with this friend, we could move mountians if we were one. I feel it in my heart. I like to think that I'm a loving person, as far as sharing how I feel, well, I did with you and the world, you won't know who I am. The person I want to express on how I feel, would not feel at ease, so I remain quite, I keep it inside, it has no where to go. But it is mine, my feelings which no-one can take from me.
To think, even as I sign this as anonymous #2 as you see, I still come out second, never #1. I was told to learn to shrug your shoulders and say, It's all right, what is the big deal? I just want to be thought of, appreciated, held, and comforted. What I really want is to be able to express on to how I feel without feeling so damn intimidated. My heart feels like it is ready to burst, I hurt. I never thought I'd feel like this.
SORRY, I NEED TO VENT.
By the way, I like this web site, you have a lot of nice things and stories, I like your jokes, wow, they go on forever! I'm hooked, I'll be back!
To Sandy, Patsy, Terry, and Cybil
What wonderful stories of love you have shared! I am filled with awe!
To Anonymous #1
Indeed, our culture has lots of difficulties in expressing positive feelings of love, as well as negative emotions of anger, fear, and hurt. Seems to me that you should go ahead and be yourself, rather than hold everything inside -- and just let others be themselves with their discomfort. Did you contact Garrek?
To Anonymous #2
Thanks for venting. There's a story about a butterfly that teaches us about Love. If you open your hand, a butterfly may land in your palm. But if you fear the butterfly will leave and therefore clinch your fist to prevent it from leaving, it will die -- and you have destroyed the very thing you loved.
Now, if your hand remains open, you do risk loosing the butterfly. But Love is not controlling. And so with an open hand, the butterfly may choose to stay, or it may choose to fly away.
If it does leave and later returns, it has a place to land. But,it if your hand is tightly clinched so as not to love again, the butterfly has no where to land.
Hope this helps. Blessings!
Garrek
Hope you find your butterfly.
Ah shucks, It went right by me, no flowers, no chocolates, not even a stuffed animal. I felt loveless, forgotten, unwanted, gosh, it sucks when no-one wants you. But... I took care of all that! I went out and bought me a red rose, a box of chocolates (Saunders Candy)and a soft stuffed teddy bear to cuddle with, And I wished myself a Happy Valentines Day! and as I wrapped my arms around myself... I said "I love you."
Say there Anonymous #1 and 2. After carefully reading your comments and than the reply from the Reverend, I decided to share a little about my experience, `cause of that part of you which you share is so much of me and what my experiences were, I feel the need to comment also.
I too was hurt in a relationship, not because the guy was a jerk with no feelings. We really enjoyed each other when we were together, lots of laughter, silliness, just being ourselves. I just never knew what it was like to have this wonderful, exciting, and caring loving person in my life. The first time I layed eyes on him my heart stood still...I never felt a love like this never, and I wanted to never let him go. Oh God, what a glorious feeling just to love like this. Well, I managed to lose him, I smothered him, I wanted more of him, didn't know how to stop! I found myself acting like a pompous-ass(arrogant twit). I allowed my ego to controll me and it almost cost me, loosing a precious friend that is so dear to me. I took a good look at me (and still am)and saw what I didn't like, my behavior, I had conditions.Love is not a condition, I clinched my hand shut and destroyed what little we had. I thank God, for he saw in me what I never could, I felt I had no worth, I hated myself, I could never love me. Well, how wrong I was, he has and still is helping me to see the good in me. Gosh, at my age, to think, I'm growing up! (I'm 62)I have learned to love him unconditionally. My hand I now opened wide for that beautiful Monarch, that one day may decide to come back and stay in the palm of my hand. I no longer clinch my hand tightley shut. It is open for the world to see. Don't get me wrong, that love will always be there in my heart for him, I just had to release him and not hold on, he is now free to fly where ever he chooses, there are no attachments. I learned the hard way,I lost a lover, but I gained this wonderful friendship. God, I am so lucky. Sure I want more, who doesn't? but... there will be no condition, no control,just love. My heart of love is awakened, and I have learned to be loving. Savvy
Hi Savvy, After reading your comment which touched my heart, you have taken all the right steps my dear. Sometimes we need a good knock in the head to open our eyes to make us realize the way we are thinking and feeling, and to learn how to deal with our emotions. I'd like to send this to you, and the others, but especially to you Savvy, maybe this butterfly may feel your essence and return one day. I know I do.
"How beautiful is life when you love. That is enough, just to love, to radiate it, to let love go, soar, encompass the Universe. And yet, when you give love, it has already come back to you. It is done. The love you give will inevitably come back to you, and, yes, a thousandfold. You may protest that is not the case for you, but wait, wait. All the love you have given is winding its way back to you, and it will reach you.
Anticipation for a return for your love given is not a reason to give love. Give love innocently. Give it for the joy of itself. It is ultimately for your own heart that you give. Give only according to your joy. Giving from sense of duty is wrapping ties around another. Love is not meant to be sacrifice by any measure. Sacrifice diminishes the one you sacrifice for, and it diminishes you. You may think it raises you to a high level, but sacrifice – a sense of sacrifice -- is not sacred.
To love is a privilege. It is natural, and still it is a privilege. That which you call sacrifice is not love. Ego would tell you that sacrifice is love, but ego doesn’t know what it is talking about. Ego doesn’t have to know, nor does ego care what it tells you. But you care, and I care. We care with all Our heart. From Our heart comes caring about the well-being of another. Their well-being is the same as Our own. This is not a sacrifice.
To receive love is a great gift, but nor are you to receive love as a sacrifice any more than you are to give it as a sacrifice. When there is sacrifice, there is obligation. Neither you nor another is obliged. Obligation does not come from the same place that love does. Fulfilling a sense of obligation may feel virtuous. I have noticed, however, that obligation does not usually work out well. Obligation holds you and another on a leash.
Now, love may be commitment, but commitment is not obligation. Commitment is commitment. When you are committed to something, it is your choice, and you do it graciously. To do it unwillingly is an offense. To do it from the commitment of willingness is another story. What you do is what you do. How you look at it makes all the difference in the world.
Never be begrudging. Do not drag your feet. Be happy to give where it is yours to give. Be happy to give what is within you to give. Give from fullness of heart. Anything less is taking, not giving. When you give from obligation, you take away the other’s sense of freedom, and you are indebting them to you. Do you feel the difference in your heart? Do from love. Doing from love is the same as following Gods will". I hope this helps, it helped me, I know, I did what you did Savvy, but I wasn't as fortunate as you, to have such a friend that saw in you what you could not see in yourself. You are blessed, and who knows, God may have a surprise in store for you in your near future. Just keep that hand opened.I wish you well, I feel your love my dear.
Oh, just keep wrapping those arms around yourself, go ahead and hug yourself at least once a day, everyday, isn't it great just loving you?
I spent Valentines day thinking about someone who I thought to be a perfect match and but then all of the sudden he flew away shortly after Valentines day last year…shortly after he started to feel …not because he did do not care about me, or because of anything I did but out of fear- fear of getting hurt, fear of feeling. I have respected his decision, and I still pray that his hurts will be healed so the next time he meets someone, he will not be afraid…..
Hello,Reverend,
My name is Garrek, and just to let you know anonymous #1 did contact me, and we are now an item. She is so loving and kind, and what a gal she is. We enjoy being with one another, and that is part of what matters to me. She is quite a handful, if you get what I mean. I would like to thank you,if it wasn't for your site, who knows, I'd still be alone and miserable. Now, Emma and I found each other.
Savvy, you must remember that God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you
let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
Our Valentines day was very nice, we had a romantic dinner at home, and all we have to do is look into one anothers eyes and the sparks fly. Our relationship with one another has been like this for the last 8 years. We can't have enough of one another. We don't need card or candy, to express how we feel about one another. We tell each other each day.Maybe one day Savvy, that lucky man will come into your life and sweep you off your feet as Sal has done for me.
I wish you well.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Garrek and Emma
Blessings to you -- so glad you found each other.
Sal and Debbie,
THANKS for this:
"you must remember that God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you
let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
From
Anonymous from 6:55 PM, March 10, 2007
I was browsing and came across this web site. This web site is unique. No other Unity Church offers what you do, I find this to be very interesting.
For Valentines day I decided that I wanted to switch rolls and have fun. I picked up my husband for a romantic lunch, found a beautiful rose for him, bought him a sail boat so he could sail the seas! A captians hat with his name on it,a big beautiful plush beach towel, and a silk night robe. You can imagine the excitement of all this for him, he laughed with delight, he hoot and hollard, picked me up and swung me around and gave me such a kiss.
You see when you show how much you love them and being kind thoughtful the rewards are phenomenal. By the way...The rose was a long stem red rose, The beach towel was thick and very plush, the captians hat was white with blue letterng, and the boat, oh, that boat, well he can sail it in his bath tub while bathing. And the night robe, well, that's another story.
It is the thought that counts!
I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR A LOVER, BUT FOR ME VALENTINES DAY IS A BEAUTIFUL HOLIDAY. YOU DON'T NEED A BOYFRIEND, OR A HUSBAND TO ENJOY THIS DAY. YOU SHARE YOUR LOVE AND JOY WITH EVERYONE, GO OUT AND GIVE A HUG, EMBRACE YOUR NEIHGBOR, LET THEM KNOW YOU APPRECIATE THEM LIVING NEXT TO YOU.I THANK GOD FOR BREATH OF LIFE, I TELL GOD I LOVE HIM EVERYDAY. YOU SEE, EVERY DAY IS A HOLIDAY, EVERY DAY IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING TO GET.
Hey Katie,
You sure are love. I too talk to God every day and I thank him for all his good that he bestowed me.
I have no mate, but I have a close friend of which I so dearly appreciate. We share our thoughts and ideas, and sure have a lot of laughter. I am so thankful. I don't need a card or a box of candy to awaken my heart. We are there for each other. Our frendship will never die. Just being there for one another is all we need.
Hello, Our names are Hollie & Kenneth Sharpiel. We don't know where to send this letter at, so we decided that this is as good as any. I feel so compelled to tell you of our experience we had a few months ago while visiting here in the Deroit area. My husband and I attended a family celebration. They were celebrating being married for 60 yrs. There was a singer there that we invited to sit at are table, she was sitting alone and we were drawn to her. Little did we know what an impact she would have on us. As a matter of fact, we took her out for breakfast.
Somehow our conversation was about her church she attends and about her minister and his messages he gives. Her expression about Unity and how it has changed her way of thinking of how she percieves God and excepts God into her life, and to how Unity Chapel and the Minister has been there for her, and that the Unity ways of life and how it has transformed her life, has given us something to think about.Both my husband and I were so caught up into her discription and how she became a Unity person touched our hearts. Her eyes did all the talking.We are from West Branch Mich, and we have been searching for a new religeon, a new church. By the time she described a few things about Unity our hearts were starting to feel good about this. But, she also took us to her church and even though we found it to be small, there was something about it that we felt very good being there. She gave us brochers, and booklets just packed with beautiful information, and we are so grateful. We are now Unity people and proud of it. We are sorry to say that we missplaced her name and address, we searched everywhere, and have not found it. We knew of this web site from her telling us, but we didn't know where to try and get in touch, we tried to call but no-one was in. Is there some way we can get in touch with her? We believe her name to be Caroline, and would like to thank her for all she did to try and make all these things possible for us. We are back in town till April 15th and would like to see her. We stopped by the church but found no-one there this morning. Our e-mail address is (sharpielhollie@hotmail.com). Is it possible someone could give this to her? Thank You,
Sharpiel Family
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